Ping-pong
Series: Beginnings (A yearlong series on Genesis)
Genesis 30
Real simple message today, because I think that this story of Jacob’s wives is speaking something very simple and clear to us today. I think that, at its very core, this story is about ping-pong. What’s the object of the game of ping-pong? One person hits the ball, it goes over to the other person, and they hit it back. Then it goes back to the other person, and they hit it back. Then it goes back to the other person, and they hit it back. Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth, until someone just can’t return it anymore. One person hits it past the other person, and for doing that, they get a point. The person who hits it past the other person the most times gets the most points, and that person wins.
Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. That’s what we see at work in this story. We heard last week how Jacob’s wife Leah had given birth to four sons in an attempt to try to win his love. Well, Jacob’s other wife, Rachel, sees this and says, “I have to give him sons, or else I will die!” But she can’t have children herself, so she does the next best thing, she gives Jacob her servant Bilhah and tells him to have children with her. (If we can remember back to chapter 16 when Abraham and Sarah do the exact same thing with Sarah’s servant Hagar, then we know that this isn’t going to turn out well.)
So Jacob and Bilhah have two sons. Leah sees this and gives her servant, Zilpah, to Jacob, and she gave him two sons. Then, after that, Leah has two more sons. Rachel sees that, and she has a son. It’s just back and forth and back and forth and back and forth, each person trying to get one past the other so they can win.
So often, that is how we deal with conflict. Like a game of ping-pong. Someone does something that hurts us, and we don’t know what to do, so we just shoot it back over at them. Then they hit it back at us. So we hit it back at them. And it goes back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. It becomes a never-ending cycle of revenge. We spend all our time and energy trying to “get one past” the other person so we can “win.” It’s like, “You hurt me, so I’m going to hurt you.” “Well, you hurt me, so I’m going to hurt you back.” “You hurt me back, so now I’m going to hurt you back.” And it just goes on and on and on, and ultimately, no one wins.
And regardless of whether it’s over something really serious and big or something petty and insignificant, this back and forth, this relational ping-pong is a waste of time and energy, and it is not what God wants for us. God is clear about what he wants for us; about how he wants us to handle these situations. When Jesus is hanging on the cross, he is beaten and mocked, stripped naked and deserted by his friends. The people around him are making fun of him and gambling over his clothes. Jesus is in this horrible, painful situation where he has been hurt and abused, and what is on his mind? Luke 23:34 says, “Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.’”
In the midst of the worst possible situation in life, where everyone has turned against him, Jesus is not thinking about revenge or how he can hit that ball back over at them. He’s not calling out for God to zap them all with lightning and punish them for what they are doing. He’s not thinking, “How can I get back at them and hurt them like they are hurting me?” Jesus is thinking about forgiveness.
Because Jesus knows that this back and forth doesn’t lead to new life. It doesn’t lead to new possibilities. The back and forth is what got him here in the first place. He knows that, at some point, someone has to say, “Enough! It stops here! What you did to me was awful and painful and I don’t agree with it or condone it, but I’m not going to play this game anymore. I’m not going to hit that ball back at you anymore. Father, forgive them. Set them free. Set me free.”
There’s an author named Tim Keller who says this a great way. He says, “Forgiveness means refusing to make them pay for what they did.” Jesus refuses to make them pay for what they did. The only real way to stop the back and forth, the only real way to end the vicious cycle of revenge is to refuse to make them pay for what they did. The only way we are ever going to find real peace in our lives and our relationships is to refuse to make them pay for what they did. That is the way of Christ. That is what it means to walk where Jesus walked.
At some point, you have to put down that paddle and say, “I’m not going to play this game anymore. I’m not going to make you pay anymore.” There’s an author and theologian named Parker Palmer, and he says that the cross says to the world, “It stops here.” Revenge stops here. Fighting back stops here. The back and forth stops here. That vicious cycle stops here. Making you suffer and pay for what you did stops here. Judgment stops here. Condemnation stops here. All our petty fights and disagreements stop here, because Christ has set us free for something greater than all of that. All of that stuff stops here, and what starts here is forgiveness, healing, newness, life.
Resurrection begins at the cross. But before we can live that new life, we have to die to the old one. And that means we stop playing the petty, back and forth games in our lives and relationships. It means we put the paddles down, and we let go.
This week's daily scripture readings
Monday: Genesis 31:1 – 21
Tuesday: Genesis 31:22 – 42
Wednesday: Genesis 31:43 – 55
Thursday: Leviticus 19:11 – 18
Friday: Psalm 5
Saturday: Proverbs 19:22
Sunday: Acts 4:32 – 5:11
Memorization verse:
“What is desireable in a person is loyalty,
and it is better to be poor than a liar.”
- Proverbs 19:22
Blog Archive